SEX AND THE (OTHER) CITY

A Little Adventure

There are many reasons why I may not end up going on a second date with a guy. He may be too shy for my tastes, or he may not look anything like his photos on OkCupid… (Deny it all you want, but we all know looks matter to some degree, and I will be the first to admit that I have a type!). He may be a huge germaphobe and freak out because I was sick the week before and do awkward things like offer me a taste of his beer in a separate glass… (True story. Silver lining: no chance I was going to have to kiss him at the end of the night!) …Oh, and then he proceeded to unknowingly hit up my roommate on a DIFFERENT dating site than the one we met on! (Guys, if you have a profile on two free dating sites, please take one down…it comes across as desperate. Girls, same to you.)

However, the number one reason I don’t end up going on a second or third date with someone is due to him not being the kind of person who really lives his life. What you do in your spare time and the opportunities you are willing to seize say so much about you! I went on a date with a man who told me he was given free tickets and travel accommodations through his work to go to the Super Bowl. He doesn’t like sports, so he decided he wasn’t going to go, even though he had never been to a Super Bowl in his life. WHO DOES THAT?! I’m not a big sports fan either, but I would have jumped at that opportunity!! Actually, I jump at opportunities all the time!!! One thing I said in moving to LA was that even though I don’t have enough of a passion for acting to actively try to be an actress, I would always say “yes” if someone asked if I could act, and I would take any opportunity that was handed to me (unless it compromised my morals)…..and I recently did just that!

A friend called and said he knows a casting director for a popular television show about a matchmaker who matches people with millionaires. (I won’t say the name of the show, but if you can’t figure it out by that description, then you flat out have never heard of it before.) My sister, mom, aunt and grandma all love the show, and it isn’t a long-term commitment, so I agreed to go on. I can’t say what happened due to a confidentiality agreement I had to sign, but the point of this story is that I took an opportunity…despite the fact that I could make a total fool of myself on national television! Of course, I probably won’t since I’m so cool and all, but it’s always a possibility ;)

Anyway, the moral of this tale is that one of the sexiest traits a man (or woman) can have is the willingness to take risks and spend the time he has (no matter how little) doing exciting things and really living life! After all, who isn’t turned on by someone who adds a little adventure to their life??

P.S. My next adventure starts tomorrow when I travel with my dad and sister to visit my 49^th state…ALASKA!!!

Valentine’s Day Declaration of Independence

Let me start by saying that I love Valentine’s Day.  Going out to a romantic dinner with a cute guy…flowers, chocolates, scratch and sniff cards….all things most girls love! However, if you don’t have a husband/wife or an official boyfriend/girlfriend this Valentine’s Day, instead of declaring the 14^th an anti-relationship day, why not spend it with the other people you care about? Valentine’s Day is about celebrating love, but who says it should be restricted to celebrating romantic love?

If I were able to write down on a calendar how many nights in the past month I spent on dates compared to how many nights I spent out with my girlfriends, the results would be pretty sad. So I ask myself…why am I spending so much time looking for love when there are so many people in my life already who love me? Dating is a great big ball of fun (most of the time…), but since I don’t have a guy that I’m exclusive with this Valentine’s Day, I declare this V-Day to be a celebration of the love I already have in my life! Here are the three rules of the Valentine’s Day Declaration of Independence:

1)   Spend the day/evening with close friends celebrating that fact that, unlike some casual date you might otherwise be on, you are certain the people you are with are people you will actually still want to be in your life come Valentine’s Day 2013!

2)   Absolutely no complaining about relationships. The night is for celebration and happy thoughts only!

3)   Despite the fact that you will more than likely run into other singles out and about on Valentine’s night, this is not the time to pick up a honey. I don’t condone missing opportunities, but if there’s someone cute trying to flirt with you, instead of ignoring your buddies and spending the evening getting to know the new guy/girl, just give them your number and say you’d like the chance to get to know them another night, but right now you are spending important time with your friends.

It’s that simple! So this Tuesday, make plans to go out and have a good time regardless of your relationship status. If you don’t want to miss out on all the typical Valentine’s fun, then still go to a nice dinner…even exchange gifts! Just make sure that at the end of the night when you are back home in your bed, the last thought that goes through your mind before you fall asleep is, “I had a great Valentine’s Day!”

Happy Valentine’s to all :)

Lindsay

Deal Breakers

Ah, yes, one of the many age-old questions about dating…what are your deal breakers? If you were to check out my OK Cupid profile even a few weeks ago, you would see things like, “5’10” or taller,” “has to have been born in the 80’s,” and other things that I’ve recently come to realize don’t actually matter. Sure, I’m not going to date someone shorter than I am when I’m wearing flats. (FYI, I’m 5’7”.) I’m also not going to date someone closer to my mother’s age than my own or someone who can’t legally drink alcohol…but when you’re living and dating in Los Angeles, the only deal breakers you should really have are the following:

1)   Someone who is loyal, open and honest.

2)   Someone looking for an actual relationship.

3)   Someone who is not crazy or a douche bag.

Sure, it sounds simple enough, but if you happen to live in LA too, you know that even these three things still seem to be asking a lot. In the past couple months, I have heard the following from various men:

-       You are too glamorous for me. (Obviously didn’t get to know me that well…)

-       I can’t date you because I want to live on a farm someday. (Yes, this was actually said to me. Still not quite understanding it.)

-       You’re just not her. (Of course not, idiot, I’m me.)

-       I never want to have kids and you do. (Guess I can’t argue with that one, but still sucks.)

-       I want to date someone who is open to having threesomes. (No thank you…)

-       I want to date someone who is open to having threesomes with another guy…and letting him have sex with me. (You have GOT to be kidding.)

-       I can’t date you because you don’t accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and since you are going to hell, we wouldn’t be able to be together in the afterlife. (This is one of my personal favorites, especially since he had just told me our date was one of the best one he’d been on in the 34 years of his life.)

You may have noticed in the first paragraph of this post that I mentioned “OK Cupid.” OKC is like a free Match.com and is actually widely used in the city of Los Angeles, as well as other cities across the US. I signed up for it less than six months ago but just recently have been really putting it to use. Not every scenario from above was with guys I’d met through the website, but I have a feeling that my luck isn’t turning around anytime soon…which, quite possibly, means more exciting posts for you! This blog miiight just go “no-holds-barred” on some asses. (Although, names will of course be changed to protect the “innocent.”) Also, feel free to keep shooting questions my way! You can send me an e-mail (address under “description”) or if you prefer to remain anonymous to even me, you may use my Formspring (also listed near my e-mail address).

Happy reading, happy posting and “happy” dating!

Lindsay

History and Enlightenment: Part 3

Unlike many of my friends who work on tours, I’ve had the opportunity to be at home with my family for every Thanksgiving and Christmas of my lifetime, and this year was no exception. I was lucky enough to be able to fly home for a few days for good ole turkey day, and my family was very happy to have me. We have many traditions at home during the holidays, but one that always stands out is when we tell what we’re thankful for over Thanksgiving dessert.

This year, on this tour specifically, I realized how blessed I really am. Of course, I’ve always known how incredible my family is, and I’ve always known of the misfortune of others, but I’ve never had it in my face as much as I did when giving free medical tests out for the Walgreens Wellness Tour. I couldn’t believe how many people didn’t have health insurance. I couldn’t believe how many people didn’t have the means to eat or bathe or clothe their children in anything but what is no better than a step above rags. Although I can’t truthfully say everyone was that grateful for us being there, the vast majority of people could not have been happier to see us. There were a few times when people’s glucose levels or blood pressure was so bad that we had them referred to a doctor or emergency room immediately. I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever had to seriously worry about my health, let alone if I would eat or be able to put real clothes on my back. Sure, there have been times like on Warped Tour when I didn’t have access to a shower every day, or on smaller tours when I was trying to survive off of $10/day, but some people would kill for $10…and I’ve always known that, if I really needed it, help was just a phone call away. This is what I am most thankful for in my life.

It felt so amazing to be able to help these people in even the smallest way, but despite knowing that I helped make a difference, I still feel like there is so much more I have left to do. Those of us blessed with any kind of wealth have a responsibility to share that wealth with those who are less fortunate. Living in Los Angeles leaves me with barely enough to keep my head above water, but what I do currently have is the time and energy to, at the very least, spread the word. I hope that everyone who reads this will take the time to look at their lives, discover what it is they have an abundance of and share it with the rest of the world…even if their only abundance is love.

Also last month, there was a serious situation with one of my friends in which she felt so helpless and unimportant that she tried to take her own life. In moving around so much, I’ve never really given myself enough time to form a strong core group of friends, but I realized recently, for the first time in my life, that is exactly what I have. Like family, we have our little squabbles and life sometimes gets in the way of seeing each other on a regular basis, but when a situation requires it, we are there for each other in an instant.

The end of the year is approaching, bringing about a time when many turn and reflect on what they’ve accomplished during the previous twelve months. However, what I’ve accomplished is nothing compared to the lessons I’ve learned and the friendships I’ve made. I know that, a few posts ago, I wrote about learning to be alone. The truth is, though, that no one should ever have to feel truly alone in this world. Your life is a gift…a miracle, really…and everything that happens just leads to something else, eventually putting you exactly where you are supposed to be. You have the power to make that place a good one. In the long run, it doesn’t matter what you believe in the way of religion or politics…what’s most important is that you never stop believing in yourself. There are people who love you, even if at times it seems as if there’s a dark cloud over your head and no one could possibly care. I sincerely hope that after this whole experience with my group of friends that they’ve learned they can count on me no matter what…I’ve certainly learned I can count on them. As far of the rest of you out there, as the beloved Disney classic, Toy Story, would put it, “You’ve got a friend in me.” (Which is improper English, by the way…it should actually be, “You have a friend in me.” Just clarifying!)

Whether I haven’t spoken with you in a long time or not at all…if you have done me wrong or had no involvement in my life whatsoever…please, do not be afraid to reach out to me. I am a firm believer in that you can never have too many friends and also that there is something you can learn from everyone. My e-mail is on this site, and I have a public Facebook page. I’m not always available to get back to you right away, but still know that I am here.

And to that certain friend of mine…I hope the number one thing you’ve learned this year is to love yourself. You have so many friends who know how incredibly special you are, and we will continue to do everything in our power in order to help you see the remarkable person we see every time that we are around you.

Until next year, with all my love,

Lindsay

History and Enlightenment: Part 2

Another New Orleans treasure (that has some ACTUAL treasure in its history!) is Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop Bar. (http://www.lafittesblacksmithshop.com/) It is located towards the end of all the excitement on Bourbon Street and is known as the oldest structure used as a bar in the United States! It was built between 1722 and 1732, and in keeping with the old-time feel, there is no electricity in the establishment. Fireplaces and candles light the entire place, and its history includes visits from not just the typical important people of America, but the famous outsiders, as well! Lafitte’s was a place where pirates would trade stories and brawl over those special finds from “where X marks the spot.” Jean Lafitte himself was a spy and the hero of the Battle of New Orleans, and it is rumored that the Lafitte brothers used the property as a base for their smuggling operation between 1772 and 1791. The building has survived two fires and, of course, the great Hurricane Katrina herself.

During the tour, the farthest distance we had to travel from our hotel to a location where we would be setting up was when we worked a day in Bogalusa, LA. The town, unfortunately, smelled like a mixture between an unwashed foot, a dirty sock and a rancid butthole due to a paper mill that was located close by. However, the light in the day that shined through for me was when I decided to find a small, local establishment to eat at during my lunch break. Using Urbanspoon to find either a diner or a café, a placed called Vicki’s Café and Gifts came up. (http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/187/1445152/restaurant/Louisiana/Vickis-Cafe-and-Gifts-Bogalusa) As I entered the house where the café was located, I noticed there were no customers. I turned to a woman working and asked, “Is the restaurant closed?”

“Actually,” she responded in a thick southern accent, “the place closed at 2pm and it’s 2:30 now, but honey, I’ll cook you anything you like! What’s your name?”

“Well, I’m Lindsay,” I stated while starting to put my hand out to shake hers.

“I’m Miss Vicki!” she said enthusiastically and ignored my hand, proceeding to give me a big hug instead.

I looked around, and noticing the simplicity of the place, asked if they took credit cards.

“No, actually we don’t,” Miss Vicki responded, “but you can go ahead and write me an IOU and come back and pay another day!”

I dumfounded, explained that wouldn’t be possible since I was staying an hour away in New Orleans, but luckily I had some checks on me.

After scanning the menu while drinking a sweet tea and licking my lips at absolutely every gravy-covered, butter-slathered thing I read about, I asked Miss Vicki her opinion on what I should order. She decided that I shouldn’t have to order just one thing, rather try a little bit of all the specials on the menu! (I shouldn’t admit it, but she served me a feast and I ate every bite.) As I was leaving, and after having much conversation about the reason I was in the middle of nowhere Louisiana all the way from California, Miss Vicki asked how many people I was working with and gave me cake to take back to all of them.

Now, if that isn’t the prime example of a southern belle, I don’t know what is.

FINAL PART COMING SOON!!!

History and Enlightenment: Part 1

For me, November was the month of history and enlightenment. It started with accepting a job on the Walgreens Wellness Tour, where I worked as a brand ambassador/medical tester for Walgreens and AARP. With nine teams scattered across the United States, I was very excited to hear that I would be spending my time in the area that is known as the dirty, dirty south! We started off in Alexandria, LA staying at a real, working plantation that was built circa 1820. (http://www.loydhall.com/) The lace was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, and the workers and plantation owner met us with what can only be described as true southern hospitality. I soon learned that, in Louisiana, there are other beautiful things to discover…like drive-through daiquiri stands! However, the most fun part were the full breakfasts served in the mansion each morning, the camp fires we sat around at night and the ghost stories that the owner was more than happy to share with us each evening.

The trip continued to Biloxi, MS, which I was told was the southern version of Las Vegas…a lie, nonetheless….but we still had a grand old time staying at The Grand and visiting other casinos such as Hard Rock and Beau Rivage. The best thing about Biloxi, though, was this little restaurant called Mary Mahoney’s. (http://www.marymahoneys.com/) It was certainly a place that will put a strain on your bank account, but it was worth every penny. This house is Biloxi’s oldest and was built around 1737. Presidents, famous musicians, actors and athletes, and well-known authors have visited the restaurant, opened in 1964. One author, John Grisham, even featured the restaurant in two of his novels.

Moving on to spend two weeks in New Orleans, I’m sure you can imagine how much history I found there… Another somewhat pricey yet absolutely wonderful restaurant I visited was Commander’s Palace. (http://www.commanderspalace.com/) I went here for lunch due to a recommendation from a lovely older couple I met while going on a self-made cocktail tour. (Quick tip: do not pay the $30 to go on a New Orleans cocktail tour and then spend $10 per cocktail on top of that when you can simply Google the locations and recreate the tour yourself! Be sure to as the bartenders the history of their famous drinks, though!) Anyway, back to Commander’s Palace, their lunch menu offers some of the same tasty options as the dinner menu yet at more affordable prices, and the 25 cent martinis are a deal that cannot be beat! I went to enjoy my meal alone, and I’m not sure if it was the waiter finding out I live in Los Angeles and the staff thinking I might be one of the actresses in a movie being filmed in the area that got me special treatment, but I was given an exclusive tour of the property! Apparently the place, built in 1880, was supposed to be a gift for a wealthy man’s daughter and her soon-to-be husband, but they did not go through with the marriage, and the house was then considered taboo for anyone to live in. It was turned into a brothel and aimed to please many successful businessmen and celebrities alike until it was turned into a restaurant in 1944. (Don’t worry, I’m sure the place was scrubbed clean numerous times before this transition!)

PART 2 COMING SOON!!

Learning to be Alone

There are many times while I’m going about my day that I find my mind wandering to thoughts of my future. This, unfortunately, causes me to not be present, and in turn I end up doing stupid things like getting in car accidents (ok, just one) that are entirely my fault. The worst thing it does, however, is make me miss the things that are going on around me. As lucky as I am to have met the people I’ve met and to be given the opportunities I’ve been given since I moved to LA, I can’t in total confidence say I’ve been happy.

I have a job most people would kill for. Sure, I work a lot, but when working is going grocery shopping and hanging out at a bar listening to live music every Thursday night, I can’t complain. I’m constantly meeting new people and am surrounded by crowds every day, and yet I don’t think I’ve ever felt so lonely. Everyone seems to be consumed by the need to get ahead, and it’s all about the number of connections you make rather than how deep those connections are. Sarcastically, I say to myself, “Welcome to LA!” and turn my thoughts to anything that isn’t real. I think about lying on a beach on some tropical island. I think about leaving everything behind to do something rewarding with my life like joining the Peace Corps. I think about the man I love, my daughter, and my own beautiful house…all of which don’t exist. But when something real snaps me back to reality, I’m left feeling even more empty and lonely than I did before.

I’ve realized from numerous conversations with many different people that this is a common feeling to have at my age. After graduating from college, you’re left with a “What’s next?” kind of feeling and start doing things aimlessly just trying to see where you might happen to end up. I avoided the typical college experience in an effort to avoid this very feeling, but somehow, I ended up here anyway. Despite the fact that I didn’t live on a college campus for four years and spend my days partying with my sorority sisters, I still have been living a life that is far from the typical day-to-day of adulthood. Because I’ve either been living with a boyfriend or going on tour and traveling all over the continental United States meeting so many wonderful people, I hardly ever have gotten the chance to be alone for even an few hours of “me” time. Though most people would find this incredibly suffocating, I have LOVED every minute of it.

But now, even though I have roommates, I share a room with no one. At night we keep to ourselves, and I end up watching TV, playing video games or surfing the Internet alone (aside from the company of my wonderful dog, Peppermint!). During the day, I make a bunch of those previously mentioned meaningless connections, and on occasion I’ll get to hang out with one of the only two real friends I even have in LA. (Thank you, Heather!) Sure, I could try my damndest to find a boyfriend or make a new girl friend who I do everything with (and trust me, when I first moved here, I tried both of those things only to get my feelings hurt by the boy and to be blown off by the girl)…but maybe, just maybe, I should try to learn how to be alone.

The best things in life come when you least expect them too, anyway, so why keep searching so hard? If I can learn to be content with what I have right now and live life day to day instead of always wondering what the future will bring, maybe I can learn to be my own best friend and love myself more than any man ever could. To be honest, I don’t really know myself that well as it is, so this can be my opportunity to learn who I really am. I will always be open to love and making new friends, but this is my public declaration to stop trying so hard and just let it be. Who knows…maybe I’ll post this tonight and meet one of my future bridesmaids (or the groom!) tomorrow, but if not, I refuse to let it get me down. I still have a lot to figure out without relying on other people to make me happy.

So my advice to other people in their 20s feeling lost and lonely? Don’t worry…lasting relationships will find you, but in the meantime, stop all the daydreaming and live life as it comes, or the next thing you know, you’ll be waking up middle-aged wondering “Where did my youth go, and why did I spend so much of it waiting to be happy instead of just choosing to be so?”

Well, my friends, guess what?

I choose happiness.

How a life can change in 24 hours or less…

I know that I’ve been MIA for the past week, but I have a good excuse…and hopefully the reasons I’ve been missing will result in more interesting blog posts.

As previously noted, I moved to LA at the beginning of January. With limited funds and high hopes of quickly finding a job, it’s probably not surprising that a month later, jobless and struggling, I was beginning to freak out. I started texting my friends asking for any sort of help finding any type of job, so long as it didn’t interfere with any of my morals. My friend Jayson suggested I start posting my resume on promotion company websites, since I already had experience as a brand ambassador and a promotional tour manager. I did as he suggested, and I also continued looking for one-time jobs through Model Mayhem and a couple modeling agencies that had my information and sent out e-mails. One of those agencies sent out a unique e-mail that caught my eye. The job was to be the personal assistant to what they called a “record label artist.” Although I found it extremely weird that a modeling agency that only booked modeling jobs was sending out a post like this and asking to see business resumes, I applied anyway, stating that “I would be PERFECT for this job because I have plenty of music business experience!” A week later, the job posting was already out of my mind.

I decided to meet my friend Iggy and his friend for dinner and drinks one night, and while we were out, I received a missed call and a voicemail from an unknown number. I could barely understand the message except for a phone number and a girl claiming I’d applied for some job and HAD to get back to her that night. A bit nervous since I already had a couple drinks in me, I called the number provided and left a message saying I was responding to the voicemail I was left.

Maybe an hour later, around 11 at night, my phone rings, and I answer it. The girl from the voicemail message is on the other line, and she asks if I’m still interested in the personal assistant job. “Of course!” I responded, “What do I need to do?” She proceeded to tell me I was requested to work a trial as the personal assistant the following day from 2 until 7, and then I could stay for the concert afterward. She said if I did a good job and the artist decided he liked me, I would be accompanying him to Grammy parties and other red carpet events. Of course, at this point I’m baffled, and I ask, “Who is the artist?” She responds casually, “The Black Eyed Peas.”

Me - Pause. (even-toned) “Oh, ok…well, I will be there tomorrow at 2. Thank you very much.” Hang up.

First thought: I have to call my mommy! (I’m very mature, I know.)

After giving my mother a heart-attack because she thought something MUST be wrong since I was calling at 2am EST, I went back inside to find my friends and tell them I had to eat something and leave. The idea was to get some sleep that night so I was on my game the next day, but of course, that didn’t happen.

The next day, I went to the location I was supposed to start at, and a dread-locked gentleman was leaving just as I was arriving. He said it was his place, that I could go in and wait for him, and he’d be right back. I went inside and sat on the couch, exploring with my eyes and nothing more. Nice place, very clean, pretty flowers on the table…what’s this? Oh, that’s some magazine with dread-locked dude on the cover with Fergi. Ok, maybe this will give me some answers. “Printz Board - band member, music director, production and song writing for The Black Eyed Peas…”

Pardon my French, but holy shit.

My day of being Printz’s assistant started with him telling me very little about himself and asking me to tell him my life’s story. After a friendly conversation and an almost immediate feeling of comfort and relief thinking, “Thank God this is a normal, nice guy…and he’s from Ohio, like me!” we proceeded to head over to the venue where the event was being held. I call it an “event” rather than a “concert,” because it was an exclusive gathering of people to fund-raise and help support the Peapod Charity started by Will.i.am.

My day continued with Printz having me do little things for him like get him drinks, respond to text messages and make phone calls while he rehearsed with The Black Eyed Peas band and other artists that would be performing at the event like Natasha Bedingfield, Ciara and Bobby Brown. Also performing was John Legend, LMFAO, Earth Wind and Fire, Ozomatli and Jackson Browne.

My day ended like this: http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=200963099914038&comments

The days to follow were extremely fun and incredibly chaotic. I also received an e-mail about a second job working as a Promotions Manager hiring promotional models to work events for Seven Group. (Thanks to posting my resume on one of the sites Jayson had suggested…thank you, Jayson!) I had a couple interviews with Seven Group, and they decided to hire me! Luckily, I can work for both Printz Board and Seven Group, but my schedule is going to be pretty busy, to say the least. Therefore, loyal readers, I will promise you more exciting blog posts in exchange for your understanding that they will come sporadically. In the meantime, feel free to continue sending me e-mails and Facebook messages asking me any questions you may have or just saying “hi!”

Facebook.com/LindsayMarissa  LindsayLuscious@gmail.com

Post to you all again soon! ~Lindsay

To love or not to love? That is the question…

“How do you know when you’re falling in love with the right person?”

This question may seem generic to some, and it definitely warrants an extremely subjective answer, but I decided to take a stab at it anyway. People make the mistake of thinking they are in love all the time, when really, they’re not. Others know they’re falling in love but question whether or not they should be. Don’t feel bad…it’s hard to tell the difference between love and infatuation, but here are a few telltale signs that have convinced me to follow my heart in the past…..

First, and most simply, how does the person make you feel?  Sure, they make you feel happy and nervous and all that typical stuff…but how do they make you feel about YOURSELF? Do they recognize how wonderful you are? Do they make you feel confident and attractive because they want to show you off every chance they get? Do they make you laugh like you’ve never laughed before? Can you be yourself around them? Do you feel like a better person when you’re together? Do they appreciate what you love, even if they don’t love it too, and do they support your dreams and aspirations no matter what they may be? (Hopefully you answered yes to all of these questions.)

Second, both you and said person should exhibit empathy towards one another. This means if you have some exciting news that you get to go on a wonderful vacation for a few weeks, they should be genuinely happy for you, even if it means they don’t get to see you the whole time you’re gone. If they tell you about a terrible day they had, you should listen to them and really, truly feel sorry for them. (And then, of course, do something special to cheer them up!) This all may sound pretty basic and easy, but empathy really becomes difficult when an argument breaks out. If your significant other tells you that you did something to hurt their feelings or made them jealous, even if you didn’t mean to, it isn’t enough to say it wasn’t your intention and simply move on. It’s important to really hear what the other person is trying to say as opposed to just letting it go in one ear and out the other. Imagine if you were in their position…even if you wouldn’t react in the same way, understand that everyone views things differently, and try to come up with a way you can be more sensitive to their feelings next time. If you’re willing to do all that and they’ll do the same for you, then I’d say it’s a pretty safe bet that you, at the very least, really care about one another. (By the way, you should exercise empathy with your friends, too, not just your significant other!)

Third, and I know all you Jerry McGuire fans have heard this before, the person you’re with should complete you. We ALL have flaws. (Yes, even you!) When finding a partner, that person should be able to counteract the flaws that you have…this is why finding someone too much like you is not always best. If you’re more of a planner, it might be a breath of fresh air to be with someone a little more spontaneous. If you’re shy, being with someone outgoing can help bring you out of your shell. If you’re a big arguer get defensive easily, it’s probably best to be with someone who remains calm and even (to an extent) avoids big confrontations, because it will give you time to cool down, and you can revisit the issue later by having a discussion rather than an argument. No two people will fit together perfectly, but finding someone who overall brings out the good side of you while still letting you be yourself should be a requirement in any relationship.

Lastly, and most importantly, you can’t be in a position where you’re questioning your feelings. If you “think” you’re in love, you’re not. End of discussion. BUT, if you do have that cliché butterflies in your stomach, head in the clouds, heart can’t stop beating kind of feeling when you’re around the person AND your relationship has all the aforementioned traits, then you’re probably already pretty certain how you feel. THIS means that the reason you’re asking this question (if you are), isn’t because you’re unsure…it’s because you’re scared!

This post is getting long, so I’m going to wrap it up, but here’s the thing…I can’t guarantee you won’t get hurt, but what I CAN guarantee you for SURE is that if you go through life living in fear, you won’t really be living at all. My motto: “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” You’re welcome to use it, too :)

Hot Females and Fast Cars

So often I hear males complain about the fact that more attractive the female is they are dating, the more demands they have and the more attention they require. Well, men, let me put this to you in terms you might better understand…

If you go to a car dealership and buy yourself a 1996 Chevy Malibu, you aren’t going to fill it with premium gasoline. You won’t search forever for the widest parking spaces to park it in, and if it gets a tiny ding in the side, you probably won’t think much of it. You’re friends might envy you for being able to buy your car outright, but they aren’t going to “ooh” and “ahh” over it any, and you most likely aren’t going to take it for a joy ride down Sunset Boulevard just because you think you look so good in it.

Now, if you happen to land yourself a 2011 Porsche Carrera GT or, in my case, a Ferrari Enzo (yes, I have confidence), you’re going to look at things a little differently. Premium gasoline only. A scratch in the paint job…unacceptable! You will drive this car to every single one of your friends houses just so you can hear them say over and over again how envious they are of you, and you’ll never once be ashamed to drive this baby down Rodeo Drive.

Is it ok that you take so much better care of one car over the other? Of course not. They both need their regular oil changes, their occasional tune-ups, and their gas tanks filled…and if you don’t take good enough care of either of them, they will fall apart. However, you would be CRAZY to think that your Porsche, Ferrari, Mercedes or Maserati wouldn’t need a little more upkeep…and if you’re willing to do it for your oh-so-precious vehicle, you damn well better be willing to do it for your woman.